Wednesday, March 30, 2005


Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
a recent entry for illustration friday's CROWDED theme.


All of a sudden, i am weeping furiously.....


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Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
Whet your appetite for Aurelio Lopez' second batch of "horror-ku", as SamsDotPublishing releases "Shocks".

Coming out soon!

Check out for more details. :-)

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


So my office printer went kaput last week, and so, we had to bring it to the people who made it. Hence, printer-less, i am here at work, with about a dozen things to print on qeue, and nothing much to do.

Hahah. Thank God for blogging.

While working on stuff which need to be printed, i browse and occupy my time checking out websites, other blogs and thinking of ways to make my life more financially abundant. (No kidding, i am thisclose to being broke. damn that caffeine urge!)

*sigh* I have stocked my cubicle with enough books and magazines to distract me from the gnawing fact that my deadline is being pushed further down and will eventually pile up to a magnanimous size. Argh. I hate the anticipation of work i cannot handle.

I hate feeling helpless.

On a lighter note, I have recently "re-learned" the joy of reading. Almost everything in sight. Somehow, the past few days of not doing much has given me enough initiative to read almost anything --- books, magazines, coffee labels, even those dastardly ads along EDSA.

Some recommendations though: After reading Cook's Illustrated (it's a magazine), i am anticipating to do some QT in the kitchen and make those lovely food items! :-) Also, a quick read among my Sandman collections has gotten me hooked once again with the famous Endless. A close second to these are the usual Time and Newsweek staples, courtesy of 711. :-D

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Congrats on my sweetie for getting in USC! :-X mmwah!

Missing in Action

So my office printer went kaput last week, and so, we had to bring it to the people who made it. Hence, printer-less, i am here at work, with about a dozen things to print on qeue, and nothing much to do.

Hahah. Thank God for blogging.

While working on stuff which need to be printed, i browse and occupy my time checking out websites, other blogs and thinking of ways to make my life more financially abundant. (No kidding, i am thisclose to being broke. damn that caffeine urge!)

*sigh* I have stocked my cubicle with enough books and magazines to distract me from the gnawing fact that my deadline is being pushed further down and will eventually pile up to a magnanimous size. Argh. I hate the anticipation of work i cannot handle.

I hate feeling helpless.

On a lighter note, I have recently "re-learned" the joy of reading. Almost everything in sight. Somehow, the past few days of not doing much has given me enough initiative to read almost anything --- books, magazines, coffee labels, even those dastardly ads along EDSA.

Some recommendations though: After reading Cook's Illustrated (it's a magazine), i am anticipating to do some QT in the kitchen and make those lovely food items! :-) Also, a quick read among my Sandman collections has gotten me hooked once again with the famous Endless. A close second to these are the usual Time and Newsweek staples, courtesy of 711. :-D

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Congrats on my sweetie for getting in USC! :-X mmwah!

Monday, March 28, 2005

summer time blues

I guess i should have expected it.

For some time now i have been dodging the issue and concentrated on something else. Now, it dawns to me that being 24 (and close to 25 i might add), semi-dependent on family, unorganized and stress-filled to the bone almost every day is NOT the situation i wanted to put myself in. Ever. So with mounting frustration and perplexion, i try to rack my brains for things to do to sort out (literally and figuratively) my life before i hit the big 2-5.

First things first: Clean it up. My clutter has extended from unresolved issues and unanswered questions about the past into my material clutter. Too much baggae, so to speak. What to do? One thing: GARAGE SALE. So, kiddos of the Q.C. area (and the nearby peeps), please note an upcoming garage sale which will consist of shoes, bags, shirts, dresses, cds, books, some furniture and the like...not just my stuff but also a few friends'.

Secondly:Make moolah. Illustrator freelancer, at your service! I am open for short illustration work, check out my work! :-)

Lastly: Travel more. Only then can i truly experience life... hah! I am doing first two to achieve this goal. :-P An upcoming trip back to my hometown will (i hope) jolt me out of the routine i have recently succumbed to, as well as quench some of the wanderlust i've been feeling (it is summer, after all!)

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Friday, March 25, 2005

Am i getting older...

... or are there just too many assholes in the building?

For the past two days, i haven't been able to sleep well due to some boisterous noise coming from the room directly below us. Laughter (hysterical at that), shouts and giggly ditzy guys and gals shrieking their heads off till the early a.m. --- WTF!?! They're new, i guess, or they just have this "after school" thing going on. But really--- during HOly Week!?! They are, i presume, students form a christian based school, so i believe they know what holy week means. So why the HELL would they want to go shrieking into the night, forgetting all decency and just launch into a full blast laughfest without even thinking about the discomfort they give their neighbors?

I can take that kind of crap, really. I did that too, when i was in college. What i can't take is that crap incessantly into the night. Granted, these kids may be enjoying the summer days by partying, but must they continually shriek till 5am?

Even throughout the day, you can hear them talking --- talking! HELLO! Have you ever heard of talking quietly? It would be better if you just closed the windows to keep the noise in, but no! You just have to tell it to not just the people in the room, but to the entire Loyola Heights neighborhood. Well, i've got news for you --- WE DON"T GIVE A RAT's ASS ABOUT IT! Besides, must you keep you windows open, and constantly sing off-key to some sappy love song?!? ARGH. And enough of the Barbra Streisand singing already! Geez! The entire metro does NOT want to hear you sing!!!

I wish they would be more sensitive about what they do. After all, they live in a freakin' building. People who work use this time to either go out of town or get some much-needed rest (read: SLEEP) so that's just being inconsiderate on their part. Balang araw, pag nagtatarabaho na kayo, sige, tingnan natin kung ano gagawin nyo sa mga sitwasyon na yan...

Where is the reflection and all that jazz they teach you in school!? Geez... masyadong spoiled ang mga tao na yan...leche...

All we need is...

all we need
Originally uploaded by mcsister.
*cue Beatles' song*

Thanks to McSister, this pic depicts what i yearn for --- to see the actual street art, and more sublimely, the emotion to be shared by all mankind.

Thursday, March 24, 2005


Sabihin man nila na di ako Kristyano, wala akong kebs. Nasa Maynila ako ngayon, walang ginagwa kundi magtunganga sa tapat ng monitor. Di ako mapakali. Trabaho, trabaho, yun na lang ata inaalala ko ngayon. Nalulungkot ako dahil kahit ang buhay ko sa labas nito naapektuhan na. Maliit na bagay, napapalaki ko... argh. nakakapikpn.

Ewan ko ba, parang kabado ang loob ko sa mga naririnig kong balita... ilang araw lang, may isang ka-eskwelang namatay dahil pinagtanggol nya ang sarili nya at ang kanyang gf. Ngayon, narinig ko na ang kapatid ng isang matalik na kaibigan ay pinatay, binaril sa ulo, at ang suspek ay nawawala ngayon.

Hay ewan ko ba.

Talaga bang sa hirap ng buhay nagsisimula ito? O di kaya meron talagang masasamang tao sa mundo? Di man lang nila naiisip ang mga hinanakit na binibigay nila sa mga pamilya ng mga taong ito...


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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Flowers for Merwin

Flowers for Merwin
Originally uploaded by psychicpants.
my sympathies and prayers to his family.

*silence, please*

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Mangogurl recounts her friend's untimely death.

sunday soccer

Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
The gang's all here!

Tried some soccer last sunday which resulted to some interesting play (try to defend your ball while being scared to death by an oppoent screaming his way towards you), cheers and dancin' on the field (how can you play with Nelly's music in the background?) and a couple of spills (my sprained ankle, is doin' fine, thanks), not to mention some newly-formed friendships.

Cha was such a kewl "soccer mom" with her gummi treats and support (complete with picture-taking -- thanks Cha!), Deb was fantastic as a teammate, my sweetie such a trooper (and an amazing goalie!) , Edel and Dave adding fun factors to the game and Aileen a great player!

The Sunday soccer peeps were one accomodating bunch, considering we kinda "joined" them on a whim. They were, from what i gathered, professionals whose love for the game unites them every sunday, and compels them to meet up at the field near Moro gym.

We even got to play with Silvio, this guy from Mauricius, who turned out to be pretty serious about the competition (kinda waned my fun level a tad after a while). For me, it was more about the fun of it all --- he kinda zapped that after some time playin'. Nonetheless, the competitive spirit jolted some of the more serious players into getting into the game and playin' more aggressively.

Can't wait til next sunday! :-)

Panelist for a day

I was recently a panelist for one of my former teachers' thesis presentation, along with two of the college's graduates, Lyra and Mark. Lyra is a freelance artist/painter, whose works you usually see in glossies and galleries. Mark, another visual communicator, teaches at the College and is freelancing as a graphic artist too.

Though it was kinda last minute, i was happy to go to the college and check out the recent work of 3rd year students. Being a panelist, you are given the power to mold the outcome of the students' grade. I was surprised i was invited, since my work experience doesn't really qualify me (i feel) to grade somebody else's. It's kinda flattering though, to be taken into consideration to viewing and reviewing works of students. I was both excited and nervous, and hoping not to sound too bitchy about stuff i didn't like.

The day went well, with 9 groups presenting, all with variety and different approaches to their creative solution. Most, i saw, didn't really think about the effectivity of their marketing and creative output, relying more on the novelty than the efecctiveness of reaching their audience through the medium. I was impresses, however, at the technology they utilized for presentation. Back in the day, we were toiling hard to create ours by hand. heheh.

Hmmm. How would i rate myself as a panelist? A little bit of the soft side, considering i was pretty careful on what i was saying. I remember the cutting words my panelist said when i was presenting before, and it stung. I just hope that i was able to impart opinions and suggestions which they will heed and take note of, rather than detest. :-P

Kudos to the students for their effort, though their presentation skills left much to be desired. A couple of groups had promise, with their research well done, yet their creative output still askew. The rest, well, let's just say that their presentation could have put more emphasis and oomph to their grade, but sadly, it lacked even that. Still, it is junior year. The promise and challenge of senior year looms ahead, so i hope that our recommendations would be taken note of when they do their final thesis.

On the good side, it was kewl to exchange ideas with Lyra, Mitzy and Mark. :-) Nice seein you guys! :-D

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Monday, March 21, 2005

Fight Club

Yesterday's big fight may have been a defeat, but it definitely united the country, even for just a day.

I'm not a big fan of boxing, but i am pretty impressed and supportive of Manny Pacquiao, whose size and humble background did not deter him from being one of the country's top boxers. It was painful to see him get outboxed by Morales because of the deep cut he got from the head butt. Sans cut, he would have easily defeated Morales (no offense to the guy, but man, Pacquaio just kept on hitting him like crazy, and hard too!) Though defeated, i am proud to see him leave, humbly conceding his defeat, yet proudly keeping his chin up, truly the champion that he is.

Iba talaga ang Pinoy. Asteeg!

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holy week

Semana santa is upon us.

Fervent is my province's belief in holy week that as early as today most private workplaces are being dismissed and families are clamoring to go back home to visit and spend the week lying around and well, praying i guess. I never had that fervent drive in my family, as we usually just take it as a week for doing house chores and catch up on what's happening with each other. Sadly, this holy week i'll be stuck in the metro for some personal R&R.

Waitaminute --- what R&R?!

Hahaha. Seems like i'm expecting work to bug me even during the two-day holiday (Maudy Thurs & Good Fri) since we'll be opening a new outlet. (I envy my boss who's somewhere in Thailand soaking some sun) So today, at work, i have decided to delineate a plan of action to spend my holy week in a not-so-boring manner. That said, here are tentative plans so far:

* Catch up with freelance work (my so-called book project with my cuz, semi-in the works)
* Watch Sopranos season5 in DVD (whoo-hoo! finally, i can enjoy it all night long without having to wake up early the next day)
* Sleep (Lord knows i need it it)
* Meet up with some old acquaintances
* Have a DVD/ food fest with Mango gurl and the peeps
* Spend some Qt time with my sweetie (plan upcoming trip?)

Hmmm... sounds like i have enough to keep me occupied for the next two days. kewl.

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I do feel bad though. I won't be able to attend my lolo's death anniversary on Sunday. :-( *Sigh*

Sometimes i wonder if this job is worth it --- i seem to missing out on some things and pretty important ones too. Right now i want to spend more time with Jason, who's leaving pretty soon, as well as my grandmother, who's going back to the States in April. Not only that, my mom is graduating from her two MAs and though i can be there for the event, i won't be there fro her birthday. I miss celebrating with her.

Ahh... so many changes happening all at once. I wonder what the next level would be for me?

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Friday, March 18, 2005

Pop culture and the age thing

Bits and pieces i've come to read and enjoy (thanks y'all!)

Psychicpants' interesting bird tales leaves me wanting more

Mangogurl is giving me the munchies with all that food talk.

Reading Jordan's musings and observations makes me wanna commute more.The Red Wine story, in particular, just made me wanna eat at Max's just for the people. heheh

Herbkin's freelancing has made me miss not having a 9-7 job.

ahh well.

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Got into a recent YM conversation with Lucee, and we got to discussing the whole age thing. She recently turned the big 2-5, so she was kinda lamenting how old she sounds. I mentioned to her the odd-even scheme which goes:

Odd number ages have a way of sounding older than they should, while even numbers make one, even someone so old, sound so young, or younger than they should be. For example, a person sounds so much older if he/she is 25/27/23, as opposed to someone who just turend 20/22/24 (the even numbers have a better ring to it, i think)

Perhaps it's all psychological, but we've noticed a weird quirk from people who react to that, like: Ay, 25 ka na!?! Talaga? (Really? You're already 25?) Tell them you're 24, and they will go "Aww, that's great!24! wow!" or something to that effect. hehehe.


Thursday, March 17, 2005

moi part deux

Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
not that anybody has seen me recently, but during the trip back from Banaue, i lost my glasses (see pic)

See, these glasses are a pretty essential part of my being -- not only are they needed to see things clearly, but these frames are somewhat of a trademark for me. Ok, so they look catty and stuff, but to my sweetie, they are part of who i am.

When i lost them, i had to get a new pair, which turned out to be frames NOT like these. Sad, sad, sad. MY sweetie and I were both kinda disappointed that our local optometrist did not have the pair we wanted. *sigh* To my sweetie's dismay, i purchased a new pair, with different frames.

So anyway, this gave us both a somewhat awkward feel with the new frames --- i felt weird because i had to get used to it (i got a higher grade for these too) and my sweetie had to deal with me having a different set of lens. Made him feel like he was dating a totally different person, he says, which only heightened my dismay of not being able to wear my old glasses.

So, where does this post end up, you might ask? I'm getting to that (pardon the sidestories) My sweetie passed by the doctor's office last week and saw my --our-- glasses! He immediately got hold of the doctor to reserve it for us to pick up. My sweetie then surprised me by picking it up himself and giving it to me the other day... such a lovely surprise indeed! :-) Now we both feel like a new couple reunited after some time (hahaha)!

(insert sappy stuff here)

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Thanks again sweetie! :-) wuv u...

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005


The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf launched their summer drinks today!

So far i've only tried their Berry'd Treasure, this concoction of berry juices and vanilla powder. It tastes a lot like strawberry ice cream. There's also the Malibu Dream, which is a combo of strawberry and banana.Hmm... The other ones are Blueberry pomegranate Ice and latte. The latte is pretty good, though the BP Ice takes some getting used to. I keep wondering what the hell a pomegranate is...

Anyway, if you're curious, or just sweltering from the heat, try one today. :-)

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Care for some Summer art fun? Check out the Raya School and get with the program! Starshuffler is teaching! :-)

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Somehow...this reminds me of a Travis song.

Originally uploaded by coolmel.
Picturesque in your view
the colors ring rich and true
and though i may not show thee
the piquant red entices me

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*giddy* Oh well.

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Rants and Raves:

Congrats to my momma, who just got the highest score in her class for her MA finals. You go, Ma! :-D

I'd like say a prayer for all those who are lost and somewhat in denial of their failure as friends --- but do it some more and it will be YOU who will need a prayer...

In everything, there is Karma, which leads me to believe that everything will be "righted out" --- one way or the other.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

UP Survey Shmurcey (thanks, Jovan!)

Got this from Starshuffler's recent post. Heheheh nakaka-miss bigla ang UP...

1. Ano'ng Student Number mo? 97-something *heheeh*
2. Nakapasa ka ba or waitlisted? Passed
3. Paano mo nalaman yung upcat results? Had my brotehr double-check and see if myname was there (he was in Manila already) after i got my snail mail acceptance letter.
4. First choice mo ba ang UP? All the way!
5. Alam mo ba UPG score mo? i wish i did...
6. Ano yung first choice mo na course? Bachelor of Fine Arts
7. Second choice? Mass Comm --- Journalism
8. Ano course mo ngayon? Graduated from VisComm
9. May plano ka mag shift? nope
10. chinito/chinita ka ba? nope (though most peple say i look like one)
11. Nakapag dorm ka na ba? yes, but only till 2nd year high school --- rented an apt with my bro for college
15. Naka Uno ka na ba? yep
16. 3? average grade i would get for a mediocre piece of work
17. Highest grade: 1
18. Lowest: Got a 5 for a project once :-( Then again, i think more than a half of teh class did, since the teacehr was pretty tough :-P
19. Worst experience sa UP: feeling the subtle discrimination from teachers because you came from CFA (weird, noh?)
20. Lagi ka bang pumapasok sa klase? yeah, generally.
21. Anong org mo? Tried to join a sorority, but deferred since it felt weird. Joined a photography org though.
22. May scholarship ka ba? uh, i would have if i took up a science course :-).
23. Ilang units na ang naipasa mo? i forgot, but enough to get me to graduate.
24. NANGANGARAP KA BA NA MAG-CUM LAUDE? Yes, much to my mother's disappointment, i wasn't able to (tanginang STS na yan!)
25. Kelan ka magtatapos? tapos na po...
26. Fave prof: Sir Mel Silvestre, Cesar Hernando, Ma'am Mitzy Reyes, Ma'am Joy Mina Ilagan. Sa Ibang clase, Si Sir Eli Guieb, Brenda Fajardo
27. Worst teacher: i seriously can't remember...
28. Fave subject: Materials class and Thesis (weird noh?)
29. Worst subject: STS. Super walang kwenta maliban sa bonding with group mates. <--- yup yup yup!
30. Fave landmark: hallways ng FA dati na painted pa ng iba-t ibang orgs (burado na ngayon).
31. Building: Bartlett Hall
32. Paboritong kainan: the batchoy place near FA, at tsaka kina Manong Fishball!
35. Lagi ka sa lib? sa FA libe lang, usually
36. Nakapag infirmary ka ba ng minsan kang nagkasakit? yes, for a doctor's appointment
37. May crush ka sa campus? dami...
38. BF/GF? hmmm...
39. May balak ka bang mag masters or phd? i wish i can finish my MA
40. Ano-ano naging PE mo? Swimming, Australian Games (hehehe), bowling at PE 1.
41. Kamusta naman yung block section nyo? Ok lang. Still keeping in touch with some people :-)
42. Nakapanood ka na ba ng graduation sa UP? college grad lang...
43. Memorize mo a ang Alma Mater Song? nope, nada.zilch.
44. Nakaperfect ka na ba ng exam? Oo. Sayang lang di ko tinandaan kung ano. Minsan lang 'yun eh.
45. Anong gusto mo sa UP? Character-building experience ang UP.<-- you said it!
45.Anong ayaw mo? Ayaw ko ng gulo at mga kups na, the equipment/facilities aren't enough.
46.Maganda ba ID pic mo? nope. i squint in mine.
47.May ginawa ka bang illegal sa campus? Uhm... baka meron na, hindi lang ako aware. Hahaha...

my apologies...

I'm sorry sweetie...

i wuv u!

weekend before the hooplah

Work has been hectic these days -- lotsa planning, lotsa projects and oh yeah, we open a new cafe in lessthan two weeks. Technically, our new outlet will open during Holy Week.


The whole concept of Holy Week for a lot of Filipinos is sacred --- a time to regroup with the family, hence the almost manic struggle to book tickets and flights out of the city to go back to the province from which you came from; a time off work, which means people who are from the city head off somewhere OUTSIDE the metro; a time to purge one's self of anything but the death of our Lord, which is pretty much applicable to my grandparents' era and all those die-hard believers of the faith; for the rest of the country, it is two days' paid vacation of sleeping in and watching 7th Heaven episodes and/or Bible Story movies on T.V. (lucky for those who have cable, they have a better selection)

For me though, it looks like the beginning of the end. Sure, lots of responsibility means trust and all that. Unfortunately, that means not being able to go home to spend time with my family, as well as time to be stuck in the metro (which, btw, turns almost into a ghost town --- really weird)

Oh well. Might as well enjoy the ride. I am happy i'll be spending it with Jason, which is great. Also, since this will be time off the office, i can catch up with all those movies i missed in DVD format, not to mention sleep all day (cue Jason Mraz's song,please!)

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Met Jason, Melissa and Mitzy at the Ayala Museum earlier. They had to attend a short alumni homecoming of Fullbrighters in the country, which ended pretty early, so they decided to go to the museum. I was stuck in traffic on my way to a travel agency (i just needed to get something before meeting with them) so i was in a rush, had a bit of a problem breaking change for the cab too, all the while enduring the hot hot heat (summer na!!!).

MINI RANT: What is wrong with cab drivers these days?! Seriously, I had the worst time getting to Makati earlier because not only did we endure the heat, we had to experience it through traffic. I guess it's just my luck to get a cab that has no window tint... oh well. Anyway, for some reason, he did not have change. So it boiled down to a 5-minute staring cotest on who should give what. The fare was P160, but i only had 2 P100 bills and a P20 bill. In the end, he accepted the P120. The second ride i got (from the travel agency, which was a couple of blocks away from the museum) also gave me a cab driver who had no change. I was so steamed --- does he expect me to pay him a full P500 for a lousy P40 ride?!? In the end, i had him stop in front of a coffee shop, in which i had to buy something to break my bill. *sigh* At elast i got to buy Jason something sweet to eat :-P

Anyway, i was really grateful that they managed to wait up for late ol' me.They were with a couple of Filipino Fullbrighters, Gino and JV, who were just the sweetest people! :-) We checked out the latest exhibit (a collection of Filipino works bought by Singapore, among which was a work done by my former professor in Modern Art, Ma'am Brenda), the dioramas(a staple in the museum) and bought some interesting items at the museum shop. It was cool to check it out since JV wa sa teacher (he gave a pretty interesting tour of the dioramas) and Gino was a designer (he explained the Spanish clothing display, as well as the ornate religious items). We topped off the trip with lunch at Kitchen, which had some ample servings of great food and shabby chic interiors. It was a very nice way to spend a Saturday (sans the cab ride fiasco and hot hot heat --- oh yeah!)

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Friday, March 11, 2005

a little bit of inspiration

Milton Glaser speaks of graphic design. (omg, i am soo jealous of Melvin for having him as a teacher!!!)

Thanks for the link, Berger!


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It's amazing how the month seems to fly by...

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005


"Love is a matter of timing... what good will it do if you met the right one too early or too late?" -2046

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My timing always sucks. Maybe this time i'm on time...

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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

waking up

i had the most horrible dream earlier. Of course, now that i try to recall it, i can't. But it was pretty bad, considering i woke up in tears and heaving. It was weird, considering i had a good night, as well as a good night's sleep. Maybe coffee and alcohol really don't mix.

Oh well.

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To recap the interesting night, i met Jason at the "usual place" (read: the gym) after work, where we stayed for two hours working out. Did i say working out? I meant using the machines while watching TV. hehehe

The perks of going to the gym is, mainly for me, the tv sets and dozen channels of cable Tv you can watch. I was so glued to watching a replay of Twister that i ended up being on the bike for more than a half hour. hehehhe. It was great though, i was burning calories while enjoying myself (of course, i was straining my neck..)

Nway, we managed to have a cup of joe ( Jason's ritual at the gym lounge) before heading off to The Meatshop for some beer and bbq (for them). Met up with Melissa, Mitzy, Dave, Dino and Hirosh who were already seated and waiting anxiously for the BBQ. It was pretty great, just chillin' having sum BBQ (Grilled squid for me --- rapsa!) and talkin'. Mary and Christel also stopped by, though Christel was there mainly for business --- we have a project together. Nway, it was pretty great that we were able to chill (I think we bought the place out with our more than a dozen beers, and almost 25 sticks of BBQ)

A short nightcap of coffee and cookies at CBTL Morato with Mary, Dino, Hirosh and Jason --- we met up with Lucy and Edel there , who were studying for finals (?) busily staring into their papers. It's great to see them again! The place was so crowded last night though, so we sat outside (patio). A little chat about places to go to, dentist appointments and some language issues, after which we called it a night. Kewl.

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There's nothing more calming than him saying "it's ok, baby, it's just a dream".

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Monday, March 07, 2005

endings and beginnings

Happy Birthday, Lolo!

Today is my lolo's birthday. I miss him. Tonight my family will celebrate his birthday at the eldest sister's house. I wish i can be there. I miss my lolo so much. He passed away last year, a few days after celebrating his birthday.

I love you lolo.

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I just read that Generationrice is finally closing its rad site (oh no!). I feel sad. After 5 years, it had a great run...

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Going over the site, i came across a poem i wrote for them during the time my lolo was in the hospital (he's a diabetic). Even now, i still become overcome with the emotions i felt when i was writing that -- it was a little too personal i guess.

I never really spent that much time with my lolo growing up since they were based in the US that time and would only be here for the holidays. Still, i always remember his advice on life, passed on constantly by mom to me:

+ read books
+ intelligence is your best asset --- beauty fades through time
+ simplicity in life is best --- money may give you material things, but if you're stupid, you're not worth anything

Or something to that effect. He usually says it in dialect (more to the point). I remember him always praising me or my cousins whenever we excel in our studies. His greatest happiness was to see a member of his family happy in what he/she does, manifested in the excellence/progress of his career/work.

He was always the soft-spoken yet candid guy i would happily show my grades too, always ready to tell me a story (usually war stories) or revel in the "love story" he and my lola had during the war. I love his smile and seeing tthe excitement in his eyes whenever he talks. I love the soulful gaze he gives my lola everytime he is with her, how he holds her hand like he will never let go.

I love how excited he gets when he plans to go to the beach, and how much more excited he gets once he is there. I love how he enjoys the beach, spending time talking with Tatay Mel, or just walking along the shore. I love how despite his misgivings and distractions, he shows my mom in small ways that he loves her, like holding her hand and hugging her whenever he spends time with us.

I miss my lolo...

+ + +

week starters

Had a small gathering with Ligaya and the IC peeps at the IC last night, along with the Fullbrighters. It's sweet, they gave her a semi-surprise party complete with songs, cake and lotsa food (yum!) Although i haven't been able to sopend that much time with her, it was great to hang out with her that one weekend at Zambales.

Right now i guess she's on her way to Cebu to say goodbye to her relatives before she heads back to The Netherlands. Anyway,Have a safe trip, Ligaya! :-)

+ + +

It's amazing how time flies.

+ + +

Change is so apparent these days... a good friend is moving on to a new chapter in his career, a friend recently left the country, and a couple more will be leaving by next month. Me? No plans yet, but i do hope my travelling plans will materialize soon...aside from that, my family is loving on to the next chapter in their lives too, as my mom begins to think about teaching after she graduates from her MA degrees (yup, she finishing two) and my brother is getting a great break in his work. My younger brother will be starting college soon too--- wow, has it really been that long?

+ + +

We will be celebrating my lolo's first death anniv by the third week of March (Holy week at that), so in a way this is a physical manifestation of my lola's transition progress. She has, from what i gather, been quite docile throughout the proceedings of the planning, though i feel that she may be feeling the loneliness too much. I miss my lolo. I can remember the numerous times i've seen them together, all those years, still strong despite problems and difficulties. It's not very hard to see how much they love each other. I wish i can find a love as strong as theirs, and as deep.

+ + +

Watching In Good Company last night. Quite a good movie, not at all what i expected. It gave me some things to think about too. It gives you quirks of advertising, marketing and ultimately, the doubts and questions of what makes life meaningful. Topher Grace said in In Good Company, "i want my life to mean to me as your life means to you. I want my life to mean something". It's funny that in our search for meaning in life we muck it up with a lot of expectationss, and vague wants and objectives. Oftentimes we do not know what we want (as you get older (or more mature? haha) you tend to look into more things which give you more questions rather than answers). In the end, you want something simple, straightforward.

So what do i want? I do not know yet. I can definitely identify myself with Topher's character (like him, i feel my life may peak at 25 and go downhill from there). But yup, i do want my life to mean something. Now if i can only figure out what that something may be... :-P

+ + +

Friday, March 04, 2005


I am bitten by the wanderlust bug. I would LOVE to just get out right now and head off to some place i haven't been in a long time (beach, anyone?) Unfortunately, funds have made my dream somewhat unreachable for now... So, to assuage my lust for the road, i have taken to looking over my pics of recent trips, remembering the fun times. :-)

+ + +


For the folks who inquired about the Banaue trip, you can get your tickets (direct to Banaue) at Autobus, in Sampaloc, Manila (near UST). Trip to Banaue leaves at 10pm. Best to get the tickets 5 hours before (they don't do reservations). You can contact our tour guide/driver, West, through 0919.448.89.36. Best to plan the trip with him once you meet up, to make use of your afternoon before you head out somewhere (it's also good to get his opinion on where to go, and which inns to stay at). When in Batad, check out Rita's Inn for their great food.The Hillside Inn was a great place to stay inn, cos they offer a better view for P100 --- get the basement rooms!

+ + +

My friend, Junie, is here for a week with her mom who's visiting. Yehey! I finally get to see her again! :-) It's been so long and i have not been able to see her every time i am at the province (she works and studies Nursing in her free time). *sigh* I miss her a lot! :-) I can't wait to hang out with her!

Thursday, March 03, 2005


Pessimism is toxic.

After getting so darned frustrated over things, i have decided to just work with what's workable, and just be happy (even if it kills me).

Last night, for example. I was jarred into reality without any warning, and i had to really take the time to digest the fact that, yes, it is already March... so many things are changing, and everything is going by so fast that i can't help but feel sad. That realization made my eyes blurry and as i took that in, i tried so hard not not feel bad, bottling up what i was feeling inside me.

Not only that, on our way to dinner we had the worst encounter with taxi drivers. It's amazing how much of an asshole a driver can be without meaning to (or perhaps they did mean to be such --- it is rush hour). I mean, negotiating with a driver is bad enough (how far is greenhills from ortigas center, really!?) but to drive away without saying anything while you're talking to him is just too much. ARGH! These people complain a lot about unfairness and all that crap they get from the gov't., the people, etc., but they can't even extend the smallest courtesy of properly negotiating (like that is even proper --duh)

Anyway, after that, my frustration just grew and grew until i was talking trash and stomping around. Meanwhile, Jason was patiently watching and going along with me, squeezing my hand until he finally stopped me as i was ranting and hugged me. Hard. He smelled my hair and kissed me and said, "it'll be ok, baby".

I looked at him and realized that yeah, it will be. For some reason, seeing him there just stopped me. It made me think of the mess i got myself in, getting myself all worked up for some stupid reason. So i let it go. I looked into his eyes and just thought of how great it felt to be with him, just be with him. The thought of having him beside me there, made my frustrations melt away. I immediately felt better.

+ + +

So i have decided to try to just be thankful nowadays. No matter how many small things irk me, i will try to not let to get to me. After all, everything's changing, moving so fast that i can't let any time get wasted by getting all pissed off. (I just hope i can sustain this positive energy).

+ + +

5 things i am happy about:
+ my sweetie getting in to Northwestern!
+ my mom graduating from her MAs this April!
+ my brother's success in his latest project at work! :-)
+ having great friends!
+ an upcoming trip!

+ + +

Tuesday, March 01, 2005


Recently watched The Woodsman, this drama featuring Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick --- pretty good and heart-wrenching. It's a story about a newly-released sex offender (read: Child sex offender) re-adjusting to society and battling his inner demons (read: not molest some kid again).

Pretty serious and "real" in every sense of the word, as the movie doesn't go all the way biased about the issue, rather gives the character depth by giving all sides and reactions of people around him. It's a quick one too (an hour and a half), filled with interesting camera shots and well, some interesting editing. :-)

+ + +

On a lighter (though a bit morose tone) note, i also got to watch Finding Neverland. It's about James Barrie's relationship with his muses for Peter Pan --- a family of boys and a widow (played by Kate Winslet). With them, he gets to play pirates and indians, walk the plank and dance with fairies.

Sadly, i never got to see the ending since the disc was scratched (aww!) but it did make me wanna bawl my eyes out in some parts --- that Johnny Depp is one amazing actor (not to mention darn sexy --- at 40 at that! Raawrr!)

Note to self: MUST finish the movie!

+ + +

I am not much into doing anything these days. The weather is so hot (yup, i surrender to the heat) i can barely manage to get out of the office (ironic, since i feel like i wanna kill myself sometimes when i'm inside --- it sucks looking at progress bars). *sigh* I am constantly thirsty, tired from all the mental activity from work and strangely lethargic from the heat. Argh.

Like today. After doing chores and going about much needed household work, i took a break and took a "nap" --- which was about 4 hours. Blame it on the heat, hormones, the afternoon, whatever. I was just soo tired! *sigh* I was all ready to do a lot of things, like go to the gym, have dinner somewhere, watch a movie with Jason --- but poof! all that was done and over with when i closed my eyes.

I feel like i am watching my life slip away before my very eyes.


....yeah, sana

Press to stop
Originally uploaded by Helephant.
Let me stop whatever this is taht is making my head feel like it's about to explode.
Mahirap pahintuin ang gulo ng utak mo, lalo na ang pag-iisip ng mga bagay na nakakadulot lang ng sakit ng ulo!
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